Finally Some REAL Relief at the Pharmacy

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA’S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, “You make me want to be a better person.”

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

I’M NO LONGER A ‘VIRGIN’…

…a KNITTING PATTERN DESIGNER virgin, that is!  <I bet a hundred guys just clicked the hell out of THIS site!> 

One of my favorite local hang-outs, Double Ewe Yarn Shop, is having a promotion where if you knit a ’string’ or ‘market’ bag (with yarn purchased from them) in the month of February, then during a specified time in March any yarn you can fit into that bag is 20% off!  Needless to say this sent my commitment not to buy anymore yarn until I used up what I already have right into the crapper; I’ll be saving money if I buy yarn!

I’ve never heard of nor seen a market or string bag before and found a ton of them on-line.  Thinking that I most likely would never actually take this thing into a market and put food (or anything else) into it, the vision in my head was to use it as a knit/crochet project bag.  So after looking at a gazillion of them I found a pretty simple pattern I liked and made my first one, which I called the Experimental Market Bag, which is the result of a couple modifications to a pattern called the Sunshine String Bag.  One of the things that really stood out for me when searching for a pattern is that for the most part they’re all pretty much the same - yarn-overs and k2tog’s or ssk’s in different combinations. 

So I’m psyched about this sale and enjoyed making my little bag, and of course had to share this cool little deal with my BF.  Now said BF doesn’t live all that close and doesn’t drive, so when she’s up here at my house we usually find ourselves doing a little yarn shopping on this end of town.  She’s never been to Double Ewe (I just found it myself a few weeks ago), and because she was so so busy getting ready to go to Stitches West in CA ($%^&*) I told her I’d make her a bag - with yarn I’d purchased at Double Ewe - and she, too, can send her commitment not to buy more yarn to the crapper and save 20%!  I wonder if she honored her other commitment not to buy anything when she was out at Stitches this time…!  Cakers, if you’re reading this and came back empty-handed, you have the iron will of a mountain!  If you didn’t come back empty-handed, that’s my girl!!!!!!

My original intent was to just make another one like I’d just done, but I started getting an image in my head of what a neat little market bag could look like…and subsequently spent the last week playing around with my idea trying to make it ‘work’ as a finished product.  Eventually my husband stopped asking me “are you ripping that all out AGAIN?!”  I think he gets it now!  :)  The end result…<small drum roll please>…is the Diamond Six Market Bag.  Why Diamond Six?  Because it has six “diamonds” on it!  Am I a creative marketing guru or what??  I like the way it turned out - it’s 90% how I envisioned it in my head - but when it was all done my first thought was that the diamonds could have been bigger.

All in all, I guess I like it mostly because it’s my very first design, it’s functional and I’ll use it.

Now I’m off to start another idea that’s been floating around in my head…this one, if it turns out, might even merit a copyright (if there isn’t one already).  No idea where all these creative juices are flowing from…but as long as I have the time right now, why fight it?!

Morbidly Obese Cat

This cracked me up…

Valentine Surprise

This is really so out of character for my husband; he views Valentine’s Day as a “Hallmark holiday” and he usually invests a couple bucks at Hallmark for a nice card.  So this was extremely (and pleasantly, of course) unexpected!  What I love even more than the gorgeous flowers is the time and effort he put into getting just the right thing.  These are Peruvian Lilies that are grown and shipped fresh from the Andes in South America.  There are 100 flowers!

A gift from the HEART is truly the most cherished gift, isn’t it?!

Step Sisters (well, Step Cats)

We have a “blended family” of 3 cats - my husband had Madison (grey/white) and Zoey (black) and I had Lydia (tortoise). Then we got married a little over 2 years ago and moved all 3 cats (and 2 teenage boys) into our new house.  Unfortunately the two older ones (Madison and Zoey) really don’t want anything to do with the almost 5 year-old (Lydia) and for all intents and purposes they just try to ignore her; SHE’S not going to stand for that so there is definitely turmoil at times.

But all in all they’re just the greatest girls I could have (since I didn’t have any human ones)!!

Are they absolutely adorable or what?  That’s Madison and Zoey.  Personally I think Zoey has the less-desired spot, but then again what do I know - Madison loves to groom Zoey so they’re obviously very comfortable with each others bodies!

That’s Lydia on top.  Doesn’t the camera just make them look EVIL??? Possessed??? It’s cute at the same time, though!

This has NEVER happened before…it’s probably the first and only time it will (which is why I quick grabbed the camera)!  These two can barely walk by each other without hissing and here they are sharing a brief moment together - in the same chair even.  My husband wouldn’t believe me until I showed him the pictures!