MeTyme

Bits & pieces of my crazy world…

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Knee-slapping, gut-busting HILARIOUS…

Posted by MeTymeMN on March 2, 2008

…at least it was to ME.  I honestly sat here with the tears running down my face and my stomach hurt!  However, there are certainly times when others don’t quite see what I find so funny; but my oldest son stood behind me and laughed out loud with me, and he’s typically one of the ones who doesn’t always share my kind of humor.  So you can decide for yourself.

SWAT Team Hand Signals

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Finally Some REAL Relief at the Pharmacy

Posted by MeTymeMN on February 29, 2008

pills.jpg


NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA’S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, “You make me want to be a better person.”

BUYAGRA

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

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Morbidly Obese Cat

Posted by MeTymeMN on February 19, 2008

This cracked me up…

Posted in Cats, Humor | Tagged: | 1 Comment »